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CHUAWEIQI

Seventeen
Bedoknorthsec. Five
15OCTOBER1991

BASKETBALLER #5
Eastzone 2nd

Musician wanna-be
-guitarist
-singer

I loves my Family &Friends(:

Cravings:
LV's wallet,bags & belt
Burberry's watch
Guess's heels
VAIO Notebook
Haha, i know i am greedy!

Aims:
Satisfying GCE O'level result

I want a man who is true.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

3:03 AM

it has been five hundred years since i have blogged.

& time really flies, one more day to february.

tomorrow is the day,whereby granny is going to be cremated.

& a day, which she's really gonna leaves us forever.

trying to tell myself that she is only sleeping whenever i looked into her coffin.

but the fact is, yea she is sleeping &will never wake up kind of sleeping.

life's so boring nowadays, without granny.

have been missing her simply too much,

but fortunately whenever i am feeling down

someone is always there for me, & thanks(:

2days ago, there have been an disputes between my relative &my family.

despite my dad as the oldest between all siblings,

my aunties &uncles did not show respect to him.

& forget it, they even insult my parents.

one uncle ended up beaten by another.

what a shame, & childish thinking of all those aunties/uncles.

but it's ok, forgive &forget.

still, at the funeral

all siblings are almost seperated from each others.

poor granny, no one can even grant her last wish.

these few days are keep burning the midnight oil,

& even sleep for only less than 5hours per day.

because i was chatting with someone almost everyday,until the late hour.

something bad was, i am even sick can.

2days ago was having flu.

& slowly cough , then slight fever.

but the next day, was having nose blocked & coughing.

today was having an serious cough..

i didnt take the cough medicine despite so many ppl asking me to.

(: don't worry everyone, i am able to take good care of myself.

why are you keep appearing in my mind?

i just can't stop thinking about you.

i am always having the strong desire to tell you,

i miss you. but i did not have the courage to.

i think i am falling for you when each day passes.

slowly you are becoming something,

which i can't live without in my daily life.

i think i like you(:

Friday, January 26, 2007

12:03 PM

FOREVER, i will remember you.

i will remember..

25 JANUARY 2007 , 7:07am

thats when you left us,

& its forever..

please come back..

11:48 AM

sunday, the last time i saw you.

granny, & its the last time you talked to me.

maybe you knew it already,

you have left with no much time.

tuesday you are admitted into the hospital

due to serious heart attack.

& there goes your brain, its dead.

wednesday received calls,

saying that you have left with 2days.

i felt so break down.

i went to the hospital immediately after school,

thinking that you will still sit up on the bed &talk to me.

but this time is really really different.

you laid on the bed, without moving.

even breathing, you need to have an machine to support you.

wednesday night,

the doctor told us to be mentally prepared.

you may go anytime that night.

even if you are fine, you will became an vegetable.

around 1plus midnight,

then i went home.

having to go school the another day.

but, unfortunately

in the morning 5am plus

someone called & said

"ahma's breathing is getting lower &lower,

i think she soon can't make it anymore"

i was so shocked &anxious.

everyone woke up &rush to the hospital.

i am late..

when i reached there,

everyone was there.. crying out loud..

i looked at your breathing,

& its zero..

i knew it, & granny you are really leaving me &everyone forever.

i really miss you so badly, really so much so much.

why did you go without saying..

i miss your smile, miss you voice..

i miss talking to you,

i miss going out with you.

i miss enjoying my meal &day with you.

you always asked me to be a good girl

& study well.

i did not..

i let you down, granny.

but when i am going to change,

why did you choose to go

& dont want to give me that chance to.

i promised you i will really study well,

& be a good girl.

ahma, please come back..

:'((((((

this year i actually forgotten your birthday.

i am really really so sorry.

you left us exactly 3weeks after your birthday.

why??

i really dont wanna accept this fact.

because it is really so sudden..

i don't want to live without you, granny.

xing hao zai wo zui nan guo de shi hou,

wo hai you ni.

ying wei ni de xi huan,

rang wo gao xing le..

Friday, January 19, 2007

1:13 PM

18 January 2007

today is an bad bad day.

yea i cutted my hand again.

what kind of teacher are you?

you made me cry.

i really really fcuking hate this school.

& why do you have to remind me,

of whatever that have happened in this school?

you said everything is fair,

you made all those unfair scene to appear in my mind again

when i have get over it long ago.

i tried my best to study & pay attention,

& leave everything aside.

yet you said until as if i am not trying

& pushing all the blames to me.

maybe you think what you have said is not too much,

but it is for me.

i took it very seriously ok.

you stabbed on my scar once again.

& i am badly hurt.

you are trying to say you dislike my sight isnt it?

since everyone dislike too,

i shall leave..

:'(

& dont ask me why.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

10:09 PM

today, was having training.

but an light one(:

funny can!

we were asked to roll here &there.

& the fatty xiumin,

laugh until like crazy larr.

we were like noisy until

the DM come scold so many times-.-

& we did some photo taking(:

the 16 of us.

coach very excited also!

he twisted at xiumin's head at one of the pic,

which i din upload,

& shuwei's head!

LOL, fun day we had.

look at what coach is doing. LOL!

the informal one, everyone's smiling!(:

the formal one! everyone look fierce! xDD

look at my face -.-

like some kind of abnormal people.

LOL!

& this, we took in the gym(:

thats what xinyun said,
"xuejun can you smile more?"

look at her face,

she's acting cool always!

anyway, we look so cute can!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

8:18 PM

After so long, i am still finding what i want.

i always thought i could find it on you,

but though i am trying so hard to..

i just can't find what i want on you.

i only find, how not important am i in your heart.

after so long of feeling what you feel,

thinking what you think,

saying what you wanna say to myself.

& i know clearly,

you just want me to give up.

you always treated me as normal friend.

there's a song,

totally describe how i feel,

& what i want to say.

i shall write all the lyrics.

PU TONG PENG YOU.

deng dai, wo shui shi shui di zai deng dai

zuo ni gan qing shang de yi lai

wo mei you ren he de yi wen

zhe shi ai.

wo cai, ni zao jiu xiang shuo ming bai

wo jue de zi ji hao shi bai

cong tian dang diao luo de sheng yuan

duo wu nai..

wo yuan yi gai bian(what can i do)

chong xin zai lai yi bian(just give me chance)

wo wu fa zhi shi pu tong peng you

gan qing yi na me sheng

jiao wo zhe me neng fang shou?

dan ni shuo..

i only wanna be your friend

zuo ge peng you

wo zai..

ni xin zhong zhi shi just a friend

bu shi qing ren

wo gan ji ni dui wo zhe yang de tan bai

dan wo gei ni de ai zhan shi shou bu hui lai

so i, bu neng zhi shi be your friend

i just can't be your friend

no, no , no..

bu neng zhi shi zuo ni de peng you.

& this is what you said,

what you want.

you only want to be normal friend me.

but i shall respect what you want.

give me some time.

i will learn how to give up..

Monday, January 08, 2007

9:13 PM

glad that friends are there for me.
they are always there when i am down.
they made me smile & laugh when i am sad.
they care for me, cheer me up(:
thanks friends!

after so many things happened,
i am growing up each day.
after four years in this school,
i experienced so many changes.

different changes,

people, things around me

are changing every moment while time passes.

& time really flies, but can't turn back.

there is really so much happy memories,

& sad ones i had together with my basketball friends.

I have learnt to be stronger than before.

now, i believe you are not meant for me.

after so long, so much effort.

still, the fact is unchanged.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

6:51 PM

No one will treat you as a mute

even if you keep your mouth shut.

BITCH ~

a crying day again ~

life's boring.

but with the team is fun(:

lalals -.-

was helping ISABELLE with her homework at foodcourt.

from 12plus till 4plus?

yea ~

everyone is going crazy..

i am glad to have a united team like this.

they are good to me(:

i know they care for me though i am no longer part of them.

& a great friend of mine.

she is great listener too.

we share secrets(:

frankly speaking,you are someone special.

who make me feel better each time.

when i am down,

you made me laugh(:

thanks for making my life at least an black&white,

rather than an colourless.

sigh

sometimes, i really dont know what to do.

whatever you said & do,

make me feel so confused.

:'(

but a smile from you,

melts my heart(:

still, its not enough.

at times, i may even suspect

& think through..

why is everything happened this way.

& i have yet found out the answer.

when i don't care,

you made me care.

& when i care,

you don't care.

I am kinda regret coming into bedokNORTH;

a place where i have loads of sad memories.

I have learnt something important from teachers,

that what is the definition of fairness,

because i experience it before.

with hard work & effort,

yet gain nothing but rejection.

with no hard work & effort,

yet gain everything & acceptance.

this is the kind of fairness i learnt.

& i believe this five/four years of studying in BNS,

i will bring along these kind of "GREAT" memories with me,

&forever.

if i were not in this school,

i wont know a guy who hurt me badly.

& left me alone.

if i were not in this school,

i won't have those teachers who are against me.

if i were not in this school,

there will not be so much conflicts

between me & my parents/ teachers.

if i were not in this school,

i may have study better.

if i were not in this school,

i may be in team.

if i am not in this school,

the purpose of me going into the team,

will be different.

if i am not in this school,

i will not fall for someone who dont likes me

& bring me tonn of pains.

if i were not in this school,

everything will surely be fine.

i regretted.

Friday, January 05, 2007

6:09 PM

someone knows exactly what am i thinking,

& exactly how i feel (:

we often have small chat,

& short conversation.

she asked me questions,

which she knews the answer in my heart.

a very good & reliable friend of mine.

yea, i think the feeling is no longer that strong.

& no longer so dependant on it.

she told me,

its already numb

& i am already used to it.

i guess it is,

& she said don't.

it not because i can't,

its because i want.

thats why i can't.

although 2007 don't starts the way i wanted,

but i realised that,

the year comes in a good way.

i am interested in my studies

& i have my friends(:

though i didnt get the thing i can't live with,

but i've got the things i can live with happily.

life are meaningless here for me,

but they are simple.

& even nice to kept in my heart.

& to keep as great memories of the year.

i have realised so many things in this 119days(:

now, even forgiven overcame jealousy.

though liking someone may not have to tell them,

just to stay by them to be like an guardian angel.

avoidment are only immaturity,

i am glad no one does this to me(:

& rather to be a great friend of mine.

by now, i am more sure that

i am a grown up person.

who thinks & does things in a more mature way.

sometimes thinking back to the past,

at some situation,

i am so loud & for now,

having the same situation

i can rather stay silent.

at times, i may act so childishly

as to made others feel happier(:

& more entertained.

i feel that i will appear more silent in the future.

as compared to being childish & loud.

as for now, study is my first priority.

once again, everyone

don't take things for granted.

treasure whatever you have before you.

& dont wait till its too late,

then you learn how to appreciate.

bye humans(:

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

9:07 PM

today, the first day of my sec4

went school meet JX,SH,SW at 6.50am

wahahahah~

i feel so excited on the first day

though it was my fourth year in there -.-

& the day in class was damm damm bored.

but as well fun yea,

with the team during recess & after school.

although made me think of the sad part,

& i cried eh.

but still, its fun & happy with them.

they treat me as one.

but i treated myself not.

oh well~

forget it.

after training went tenaga !

the team yea.

big group,

& we had 5on5 at tenaga(:

was funny & crazy & fun.

overall today is still an ok day.

but the worst part is talking bout that bitch at foodcourt

& i cried outside school.

lalals,

suddenly just now

i felt i am more fortunate then many other,

who fall for the same person as i do.

at least i got the person i like,

as a good friend yea?

yepp, i shall not take things for granted.

& appreciate what god gave me.

i shall treasure this friendship bahs(:

& now i am feeling giddy as well,

like JX do.

after that crazy & tired day.

Monday, January 01, 2007

3:39 AM

yepp, back to blogging -.-

just reach home not long ago.

a quite boring new year can.

& the new year don't seems to be great ahead.

feeling so despair,

& lost.

the year 2006 end with lots of disappointment.

same goes to 2007,

doesnt start greatly & happily.

now ...

i also dont know what to say, what to do.

just feeling like living happily..

but i know i can't.

& i have to let go of everything.

relationship/basketball/ friends?family?

now, there's nothing else in my mind bahs,

only wish that i can really study well in 2007.

because i am just a nobody,

who is lousy in basketball,

unlucky, or should i say ugly person?

who always fall for someone who don't likes me.

nevermind..

& friends? i know they do care for me(:

& they are there bahs.

but i just feel that i am so useless.

always working so hard just for basketball,

& for the person i like.

but nothing get back to me.

i have just nothing.

plus i realised that i haven been working hard in my studies.

since i can't get everything i have worked hard for,

i shall go pursue my dream bahs,

get into my dream school in 2years time.

shall stop thinking bout relationship/basketball.

Be strong, weiqi!

a new year &a new start,

make it a good start.

jiayou!

dont cry anymore lerr,

for things which are not worthy.

&study hard,girl!

& lastly,

a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!

to all humans who pass by here.

good day, good night

& i shall go have my bath

then go to bed.